I  Miss:

My old friends. Being trusted. Doing the right thing and feeling good about it. Being with Ryan. Being a kid. Not worrying. Jimmy. Getting along with my family. My real self. Having someone to love me. Holding hands. Having fun with learning. Not having to make people worry about me. Laughing till I feel like I'm gonna faint. Not feeling like I'm crazy.

I miss giving a shit about anything.

I Hate:

That people look down on me. The way I treat other people. Crying so much. That alot of the friends I grew up with dissaprove of me. That I am so selfish. That I've let my parents down so many times. Feeling trapped, lost, afraid, and confused. That I have done some of the things that I have done. Having a bad reputation.

I especially hate the fact that I know there is nothing I will do about any of this. I hate being content and comfortable with being a fuck up.